twenty and ten again

January 10th, 2010

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2010, 2010!! I love this little listmaker for the new year: http://teuxdeux.com (Thanks, Angel!)

Speaking of Miss Angel, we were chatting the other day about life and growing up. My life from 1990-2000 (age 15-25) is curiously similar to that of young women blogging now -  I traveled all over,  modeled for the 1980′s east coast version of AA (Au Coton), sold vintage in shops & online before eBay existed, using alt.newsgroups. Strange to think of living that life now, when every move is blogged, when we can be everywhere at once & life is broadcast in realtime. Would it have changed the direction of my life drastically? Would it have taken the magic away, would I have felt as free and wild? I felt present, in the moment, alive – no thought of documenting or sharing to the world. I remember a baby riotgrrl moment for me, at a Bikini Kill show in 1994 when the floor of the Fakehaus started caving in, and no one cared – completely absorbed in the experience. I can’t imagine stopping to tweet.

london, 1995

london, 1995

& then, the last 10, 2000 – 2009, I spent far too much time online, mostly because my career led me there. The times I MOST enjoyed were those spent creating, not documenting: in the band, making art, feeling a part of a greater whole.

The internet is changing so many perceptions and ideals. When I studied fashion in college, the expectation in most fields was: work hard for a long time, and work your way up to the top.

Now there is an ideal goal to be young with ‘street style’ and success comes by being ‘discovered.’ According to Psychology Today, in 2007 more than 32 percent of American teenagers expected to be famous. I wish I had the time to study all this, sociologically. What to do when your age lands you squarely between the 2 expectations?

But AGE. What IS it, anyway? Most people think I’m in my mid-20s at first glance & now, when people my age have a few kids, are married, have a career…I’m still not quite sure where to put my energies. I feel a little stuck between 2 worlds!

Can we just relate to everyone effortlessly, from the moms to the lanky blonde teenage queens? Is it possible? Is age-ism alive and well? How to stay grounded, whole, and wise (the amazing parts of aging!) while remaining young-feeling, idealistic, and driven?

Angel pasted a paragraph from an article linked in Gala‘s blog to me & said she’d been thinking a lot about age too — it’s weird how things sync when we’re all thinking about them!

“In a series of studies, she, Langer, and Jaewoo Chung, a graduate student at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, found that women who think they look younger after having their hair colored or cut show a decrease in blood pressure and are rated younger in photos, even when the pictures do not show their hair; that people who wear work uniforms (rather than clothes that might indicate their age) are healthier than people in the same income bracket who don’t wear uniforms; that being married to someone younger tends to lengthen life, and being married to someone older tends to shorten it; and that prematurely bald men see themselves as older and therefore age faster. All this adds up to evidence, the researchers assert, that the body may age partly in reaction to “younger” or “older” cues in the environment.”

Well, the Professor is 7 years younger than me, so I’m all set, right? Hee! I’m restarting, right now! New decade, take everything learned in the last 10 and do all the things I wished I’d accomplished – age or no age! Have you read about Doris Eaton Travis, the 105 year old ex-Ziegfeld Follies girl? She got her BA at 88 and wants to get a Masters!

So what happens next?

1. Eyes on the prize! I like this article on saying no – keeping your energies directed in the right place! 2009 was so many life lessons, thick & fast, I almost couldn’t keep up! But I did, and am stronger, better, more ready for whatever comes next. Would I be as profoundly at peace and content now without the heartbreak and setbacks of the past year? While I’m not sure what comes next, I do know that my foundations are finally, after years and years of work, strong enough to hold whatever comes my way.

2. Inheritance. In lieu of a financial inheritance from my grandmother,  I keep thinking of this idea of cosmic inheritance, of channeling my love for her and her amazing character into my everyday life. I also think of any good luck as an inheritance, which is maybe a little odd, but makes me feel really connected. 2010 is going to be less about catching what’s thrown at me and more about throwing my wishes into the cosmos, and listening intuitively for my right path.

3. Health is key. I have about 20 extra lbs (for my midget height) and with a wedding this year, I know I need to get in shape. But the comforting siren call of chocolate, ohhhhh. With the past 2 months being so traumatic, my eating habits have gone right downhill. I need to not forget that whatever my mental age is, my bum is 34 & those fibriods respond to foods, so time to smarten up with the eating! Raw veggies, lots of fruit, less wheat, no cakes every day, and no coffee! I got the Vegan Soul Kitchen cookbook over the holidays & want to make everything in it. I’m terrible at cooking – when I get home from work I’m ravenous and just want to snack! That is a habit that must be broken.

Once I’m allowed to exercise again post-surgery (February!) it’s back to yoga and rock climbing twice a week, biking 10 miles to and from work a day. Do you have exercise that is inspiring? Rock climbing makes me feel amazing, strong, and like a little mountain goat!

art

4. Create. I was recently offered a solo show at a gallery here, which is an amazing way to kick start 2010 and my creativity. Time to start sketching & mapping out plans! Between that and making the dress for Dori, I’m super inspired and ready to get to work! P.S. Make music more.

5. Get married. So I need to keep in mind that wedding planning and happening and making a dress for me is a pretty big time & money investment. Remember that it should be fun, and good, not stressful! Delegate tasks if overwhelm happens, etc. & I’ll be adding more and more vintage to the shop on Etsy to try to get a wedding fund started!

banners

6. Coven. Have tea parties, meet new ladies, gather & commune! More friend-time, for sure. It’s hard to make time in busy lives, but so so so so necessary.

7. Paper writing. Letters, journals. The way I write on paper (more like this, actually) is different from jotting off an email or sharing on a blog. Take time to sit and write!

8. Style. For myself, and for the shop.  I like so many styles, time periods, and looks, things can get jumbly! Themes & visions, curate a look & stick with it, figure out a focus and a vision for the shop and for designing clothes.  What do I want out of this, besides being a harbor for my impulse to bring home beautiful things like they are orphans who need me to find them good homes?

tumblr_ktuavrYQkj1qa0mk2o1_400

i dont know where this is from! do you? i want to dress like this every day!

9.  Home. I love our little house! We need to make bookshelves, work on the studio room, find a bed-frame. General nesting & coziness. Yum!

I’m still thinking on what comes next, but it is a good time to feel gratitude for the good the last decade did bring, so much love & magic. Onward to much much more in the next!

What are the ways in which you gain perspective, make lists for the future, and/or realign yourself with life paths and goals?

Tags:  inspiration, nostalgia