Some seriousness as a break from the pretty! Friday I went with Mary Ann to Pegasus Books, because sometimes on a Friday night the nicest thing to do is to sit in a cozy bookshop with a good friend and read snippets of things to each other. I picked up the newest doris 26, which is amazing, as usual. If you haven’t read this zine, there’s an anthology of earlier issues, and I recommend it to anyone. It’s life changing and phenomenal.
Anyway, while at Pegasus books, there was a guy bugging the girl stocking the magazines, asking her about really gross magazines, and saying he was going to submit his “work” to them. It was clear she wasn’t interested, she told him the photos in the magazine were too disgusting for her, and she did not read it. He kept bothering her. I got in between the two of them, and pretended to read magazines, and finally he left.
When I went up to the counter, I asked her if she knew him, and said I’d wanted to tell him off, but wasn’t sure if he knew her somehow and didn’t want to piss her off. She said no, she didn’t, and she thanked me for noticing. Just for noticing. I forget how much validation and witnessing matters to the female experience, at least for me, and for people I know. Yes, this happened. Yes, it was not ok. Yes, we were there for you if you needed.
Anyway, my point is. Whenever we see this behaviour, we should help each other out. Even if it’s just eye contact, or a nod, or a smile when it’s clear someone needs one. It changes the world.
Tanya
1 year ago
Yes, absolutely. One time, I was at a clothing store, and I was in the upstairs bargain section. A very pretty girl-employee was sorting and straightening the racks up. A significantly older man, rumpled and leering, clearly not looking like he was shopping, kept hovering near her and staring. I got such an off vibe about him that I edged closer and made sure to keep my eye on him until he left – it was like a loft/attic level and she was by herself, if he accosted her, it would have taken a few minutes for people to come help her. Anyway, at one point she addressed him “Can I help you?” and he looked startled, then frantically looking around grabbed an item off the rack and asked if she had it in another size. She said No. He just stood there, barely inches away from her. Then he gave me an angry glance and started walking away, but he hovered over her for a second, and while walking away (as her back was again turned to him) he very clearly stared at her butt and pretty much licked his lips. It was pretty disgusting and I’m glad I was there just to help a bit. At least, I feel like my presence there helped mediate that.