Thanksgiving’s been pretty low key for me for the last 15 years – for years and years I’d fast all day alone, reflecting, and then head out dancing. I’m 3000 miles from my family, and I also feel not particularly fond of the origins of the holiday.
But gratitude as a concept, that’s something I can get behind. It’s something I try to remind myself of when I think of it – but let’s face it – I’m terrible at allowing gratitude into my life. I get so caught up in being stressed about money, about work, about the future, my family, about those we’ve lost. It’s hard in the cacophony of all that to stop and reflect and just allow myself to be open to that emotion. It’s a vulnerable place, gratitude. I think I have some leftover superstitions, keeping my blessings close, keeping evil spirits from hijacking my good fortune.
So this is my little ask to the universe: a more open heart, able to stop and be grateful.
How do you keep from taking for granted the things you should be most grateful for?
Jane Flanagan
1 year ago
I’m so happy you wrote this. I usually spend the major holidays away from family and the blogosphere makes me feel pretty alone in that. You’d think so many of us who have moved distances would experience the same thing, but it seems everybody else manages a big feast and all that, while I’m alone.
Thanksgiving isn’t a huge holiday for me either (in Canada it was in October, but it’s hard for me to wrap my head around holidays I didn’t grow up with). I do like the gratitude part as well though. I guess I try to notice my surroundings on a regular basis and to just pause and enjoy them. And in enjoying them, know I’m grateful for them.
verhext
1 year ago
I guess I just never have that many friends! I’ve done a couple big friend-family type gatherings, but for the most part, just putter around all day. We’re lying around right now going “Ok, now what to do?” So even with our fledgling family, nothing big. & I think for Christmas we’re meeting up with the in-laws at a restaurant? I fail at Americana.
E. Elizabeth
1 year ago
I think that a thick layer of Catholic guilt keeps me from a lot of things, but it does help in impart a sense of gratitude!
Holidays have always been small for me- generally spent with my mother and father. Which is nice, but any time not spent eating is filled with thumb-twiddling and the feeling of “shouldn’t we be doing something?” We Novaks are very practical people and idle holiday togetherness just doesn’t mesh with the busy body life style.
Since moving away and coming into my own family, holidays have meant even less. No decorations. No presents, really. Maybe more cookie consumption. The things that bring me joy are just not linked to the forced relaxation of traditional holidays. And sometimes, I feel kind of funny about that. As I told my mom, when it comes to not finding joy in the things that I am told should be joyful (holidays, reunions) I experience a weird mobius strip of guilt- feeling guilty about not feeling guilty about how I feel about whatever day or occasion. Confusing!
Whatever. My best Thanksgiving was spent at a Denny’s.
tara
1 year ago
that wee bit of shakespeare is pinned up to my front door.
and i live in northern vermont.
and i’m smitten with your blog.
hello!
verhext
1 year ago
Oh! That’s so funny, because I almost read it at my wedding (in Vermont at my camp!)
It is such a vermonty passage, isn’t it?
& I love your flickr! Someone told me to follow you when I get homesick.
Alison
1 year ago
I really enjoyed the passage from the book that you posted what is it from?
verhext
1 year ago
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/As_You_Like_It
Patience
1 year ago
I am a big supporter of taking a moment to find gratitude in the day. It may sound lame or silly, but I try to write down 5 things from each day that made me happy or thankful, and the amazing thing about that is when I re-read my journals, I remember the exact feelings of happiness or thanks that I felt on that particular day. It keeps me content! As far as holidays, it is so funny that you wrote this post because I was talking to my best ladyfriend about this just the other day, and I must say, I am opposite from you when it comes to holidays. I love to celebrate those days, and I have had a small, living, Christmas tree for many years with lovely glass decorations that I pick up here and there, and I decorate the door of my house with lights, and this year will even make a wreath. I feel like there is a cultural idea that those things are only important for children, but what if you never have children? Are you just not supposed to decorate? Anyway — I am a big fan of orphan Thanksgivings (like this year’s) and even orphan Christmases, when the need arises. I love decorating my home and celebrating days where all you have to do is cook, and eat, and spend time with friends. I feel like we as a culture do not do that enough, and that is why I love and will always celebrate holidays…
verhext
1 year ago
Oh, I LOVE Christmas. I just usually don’t do Thanksgiving. I’ve done a few orphan thanksgivings but now that I’m married, I don’t think I count as an orphan!
We’re going to get a tree this weekend! So excited. I will stay enough of a kid forever, I think, to be dazzled by the tree and lights.