We’ve had our year to adjust to country life, and it’s been pretty extreme – Sean’s never lived anywhere rural, and I moved at 17 to Philadelphia & then on to San Francisco – so my entire adult life has been in cities. This past weekend I had an intense city-missing freakout: What do you mean I can’t just wander down to Bell’occhio to find the ribbon I need? What do you mean if we want to join a nice gym it’s 45 mins out of our way? WHAT IS THIS MADNESS. WHERE AM I? WHAT HAVE I DONE?
When you live in very rural places you start judging things based on the fact that there’s nothing else around – restaurants that would be average in San Francisco are TOTALLY AMAZING here, just because nothing else even halfway decent exists. There are a few gems that would stand out anywhere, like Morano Gelato or Clementine. You start making pilgrimages to get to the quality spots, and it seems normal to jump in a car for an hour and a half to run a simple errand. And then you get really, really tired of jumping in cars.
I’m not bored in the country, but I often don’t want to do the things that need doing here. Yard work, prepping for winter, house projects, darning socks. I want to wander the Met, sit in a park, people watch while drinking coffee. I get upset over country-life failures; leaving weeds in the wheelbarrow so it rusts, not understanding how to deal with car maintenance, general garden neglect. I’m frustrated at myself for becoming such a city-slicker while I was away.
Not many people in this state have city/office jobs, like we do. We get invited to BBQs at 3pm on a weekday. People don’t understand that we commute, that we’re exhausted when we come home. My mother chides me for not cleaning the house more, when all I want to do after an 8 hour day + 2 hours of commuting is fall on my face and sleep. A year in and I still haven’t found a rhythm where I feel there are enough hours in a day here.
But then I go read a book in my amazing backyard or play tennis at the 1920’s court at Goddard and it’s ok. I let my eyes soak up all the green things around me and remind myself that I’m here for that, for green hills and my family and safety and goodness. It’s an adjustment, but one we’re super open to and grateful for. And hey, NYC is only a 5 hour drive away.