beauty school

Vivian got me hooked on Into The Gloss, though I usually avoid the “view into people’s closets” genre because it’ll just make me jealous, makeup seems really accessible. And I like my face most of the time, even when I can’t fit into my clothes. (I’m also a total sucker when people post what’s in their bag. Fascinating.)

I’ve been trying a ton of new hair solutions (that’s right, solutions) for my mophead of curls, thanks to Robin & my hairstylist Gillian. I finally convinced myself that I needed a haircut after 2 years (maybe more?) without a professional haircut – and a run-in with the clippers in summer 2009. Seriously, people. I need to make budgeting for this a priority, because it makes me feel way better. However, even with all the split ends chopped and a shape that doesn’t look like Jennifer Grey in Dirty Dancing, the texture of my head has not been cooperating lately.

Hair.


“The curls are the conduits to power!” says my super glamorous curlyheaded friend Angela Sue, and I hope she’s right, because they’re a pain in the ass. I’ve long been convinced that they work against me in business interviews and career meetings, but I have yet to master the blow out / flat iron. Instead, I battle the frizz in a state of ever-frazzled futility. My goals are: condition so I don’t rip my scalp off trying to comb out knots, style so curls are defined and not frizzy or fluffy, and avoid the dirty-greasy look that comes with too much product. Glossy! I want glossy! My hair ranges from tightly curled corkscrews to random frizz sections. It’s a curse. I haven’t worn it down in over a year, I think.

I’ve been trying the Davines shampoo and conditioner for Harsh & Frizzy Hair, but I should have tracked down the Curl Enhancing ShampooCurl Enhancing Conditioner. Yes, the word “Love” and the baby pink color totally sold me. I’m such a sucker. It doesn’t seem to be doing much after a week except making my too hair soft and fluffy to curl properly. And still frizzy. Grrr.

I have not been sold on the Aveda curl product suite, the results were so-so but not worth the money. I HATED the Living Proof No Frizz Styling Treatment, also way too expensive and actually makes my hair feel and look worse. I’ve tried the whole Garnier line, before you sass me about not trying drugstore products, and nothing great has come of it. So far my best luck for curl definition has been with the Bumble & Bumble styling cream. I’m still looking for the perfect leave in conditioner. It is mental how much time I spend (& money, though luckily most of these were hand me downs from other ladies or samples) trying to not have a birds nest on my head. The Fekkai neither made my curls luscious nor calmed the frizz, but it smells really nice? The EverSleek worked really well after Gillian gave me a fancytown blowout, (and on my flat-ironed bangs) but isn’t working to control frizz on non-straightened hair. I’m a hard customer, apparently.

FYI- none of this is a shill. First of all, PR companies never, ever contact me, I’m too weird. Second of all, after reading this, they really won’t. Am I doing something wrong? I condition, comb through, rinse, towel dry, and put on styling product. This is what all the packaging says, so I figure it’s the way to  go. People who don’t have curls will be reading this thinking I’ve lost my mind, but it’s seriously annoying to have to slather your head with product just to look somewhat put together every morning! The market is relatively new – growing up, no one made product specifically for curls. So it’s been trial and error. They used to look so nice!! What did I do?

I would love to hear about how other curly girls deal, what works for you, and how you feel about your hairs? I do feel embarrassed and disheveled when no matter what I do I look like a mad scientist. And what I wouldn’t give for long, wavy, flowing blog-girl locks! No such luck!

Face.

After years of messing around, finally have a routine that seems to work well enough on my face, at least. Simple enough – moisturize, powder, blush, evian mister so I don’t look powdery, mascara. Eyebrows, lipstick & liner happen once in awhile when I’m feeling fancy, I rarely wear eyeshadow, because I’m usually too sleepy to think about it. But, I got a Sephora gift card for hexmas and splurged (god that’s such a gross word) on YSL eyeshadow in Peach & Mink, so we’ll see. I also got a slew (another gross word) of samples from Sephora, including the Turkish Rose & White Tea Eye Cream from Pangea, which I was set on buying (because it made my eye skins so, so soft) until I just now looked up the price. Yikes. I do need some old lady face scrubs/creams – I just read in W that I’m totally past all beauty prime and it’s all downhill 33 days after your 35th birthday. It’s probably true. When I look at photos from my late 20s, even, my skin is pristine. Ok, just typing this I may have to go to Sephora and demand samples for old ladies.

Well, in composing this post and trying to take a decent photo, I really started examining my face and hairs and age and I don’t know if that’s a good thing. I want to take a belt sander to the piercing scars on my chin. And have all my moles removed. And spackle that worry line between my brows. Ai yi yi.

I have a facial scheduled for next week and I’m going to start using my crazy French SPF on my face every day, drink loads and loads more water, and remember to take my skin vitamins. Also, NO WHEAT, no sugar, and actually paying attention to health. Sigh. Let’s just call this weekend: “The weekend being 35 totally sunk in and I decided I hate aging, primarily because it’s too much work to fight it.”

67 Comments

  1. i read a ton of posts on the longhaircommunity forums a couple years ago… those people know so much about hair. i think your hair always looks great! your curls are so charming.

    last month my thing was printing out family photos and framing them; now i have a makeup obsession. it is fun to read about what people use :)

  2. I spent way too much time on the NaturallyCurly.com boards this summer and learned a lot about taking care of my hair. Those people are WAY intense, but there are some who really know their stuff. A lot of people swear by the no shampoo method, but there is also a lot of information about all kinds of products and methods.

    1. Oh dear, I’ve looked at only a couple posts and already have like 6 products to look up! The writer’s hair texture seems close to mine when mine’s behaving, at least!!

  3. Hi!

    As a curly headed girl, I swear by pump foaming mousse. Right now I’m using Aveeno’s volumizing foam, and have had similar results with Jason’s hair foam, and one from Organix. I work a few handfuls through my hair when it’s wet (like no more than 5 minutes in a towel), brush it through with a wide-tooth comb for really even distribution, and then scrunch it all up. I let it air dry for maybe a half hour or so, and then a bit of hairspray for hold, and blow dry with a diffuser.

    I seriously get the most luscious, defined, shiny curls EVER. I’ve tried a bunch of other products and nothing is as consistent or wallet friendly (I’m looking at you $30 bumble and bumble curl creme) as this. I swear it’s something in the foaming mechanism that makes it all so magical. I never got results like this with regular mousse from a metal can.

    As far as shampoo and conditioner goes, I shampoo and condition every other day with Yes to Carrots. I have an oily scalp and the curly girl no-shampoo method did not work for me.

    Good luck!

  4. i’ve been diggin on the Kevin Murphy leave-in. it’s light and easy to use and just kinda makes my hair look less stomped on and more like i want it to. without looking or needing to be too “styled”. I just finger style it. my super awesome stylist recommended it, and being super awesome, she was right.

  5. a reader for years, and now, finally I have something more to say than, ” I love visiting your blog!”.
    I hope this isn’t a life-long dilemma, and I feel like there’s some hope because I’ve had a product routine for years now that I’m really happy with, both when I’ve had short more springy tight curls, and when I’ve grown my hair out and it’s wavy.

    Rusk’s Wired styling creme when my hair is wet, air dry. Next day I spray in Special Effect’s Shag Spray ( which is something I just found in my sister’s bathroom and tried one day). I only wash my hair once a week, so the shag spray is the perfect fix for the morning when it’s frizzy and a little unruly, a couple of sprays and it’s back to looking pretty damn good.

    Sebastian Whipped Creme is something else I found in my sister’s bathroom and tried out and really loved, better for tighter curls too.

    Hope this helps!

    1. Haha, IT MIGHT BE A LIFELONG DILEMMA. No, seriously – what I think happens is I get sick of a product, or think something else could work better, or I run out and can’t find the thing I liked again, so I buy something random, and then that works ok for a bit, but then I run out of something else and then whatever I replace it with doesn’t work with the other thing, and then I’ve forgotten what worked together originally – I know, it sound crazy, I’m just kind of spacy and don’t notice how much it doesn’t work until my hair is a disaster.

      I’m thinking what I need is a serious deep conditioning mask and then to start fresh and when I get the right combo, STICK WITH IT!

  6. I have curly/frizzy hair and always find Johnson & Johnson No More Tangles to be the best leave in spray to refresh my curls. I use that and a wide wide comb. I have spent tons of money on products and in the end fall back on what Mom used to tame my curls.

  7. So this is going to be WAY too long but I’m going for it anyway.

    The naturallycurly.com website is amazing. It changed my hair-life. There are a few key points to note though.

    1. If you’re not going to shampoo, or do rarely, then you really need to make sure you don’t use any products with non-water soluble silicones in them. They are what build up and get you producty, or gunky, or whatever you want to call it. They go by a million different names and are in almost everything. You can only get them out of your hair using a really strong sulfate-based shampoo and I am here to tell you that there are a ton of great products that don’t contain silicone out there, and not all of them are insanely expensive.

    My routine is this (I’ve got a picture of my curls on my blog if you’re interested)

    1. co-wash using a silicone free conditioner designed for oily hair, or a “volumizer” type. These are usually the lightest. You really just get in there and massage your scalp – I use a plastic bristle venty type brush to really get my scalp stimulated. I’ve used the Deva No-Poo stuff though it’s pricey, and I also like some Suave types, and am right now using Tresemme.

    2. Condition – again silicone free – with something for dry hair. I like Aubrey Organics Honeysuckle Rose.

    3. Leave in. If you’re hair isn’t slippery enough at this point, go for more conditioner! You can use the same kind you used to condition with, just a lot less.

    4. Gel. I feel that the next three steps are what REALLY made the difference. I use a good amount of Gel in the shower – again silicone free, and alcohol free as well. LA Looks Sport Gel is CRAZY cheap and works amazingly. Also want to do this while your hair is sopping wet.

    5. “Plopping” when you get out of the shower. Look up videos on Youtube. It’s a method of wrapping your hair in a t-shirt and it really works, plus it’s convenient to have your hair out of the way while you’re getting more beautiful everywhere else.

    6. After the towel comes off – more gel. This time only a pea-sized amount and you really should give Biosilk Rock Hard Gelee a try. It’s $10-$15 a tube and will last for months and there is nothing else like it (I have tried 830458739 different ones).

    7. Air dry, or dry with a diffuser. Your hair will be crunchy as all get out and you will be cursing my name if you’ve made it this far. Once it’s dry you “scrunch out the crunch” – literally just like it sounds, and you will have amazing bouncy frizz free glossy envy-inducing curls.

    I had been trying to grow my hair long for years and was very frustrated when I started this routine just about a year ago – my hair has grown almost 6 inches since then, which I know is average, but was NEVER average for me, so I think there really may be something to the whole no-shampoo thing.

    Anyway, sorry to be so long, this is somewhat of an evangelical topic for me.

  8. I sooooo feel ya!

    I went totally no-poo a couple years ago and it was a revelation. But the trick is NO SILICONE products, which virtually *every* curly anti-frizz product has in it. It is a short term fix for a long term challenge. I went through the products at Berkeley Bowl till I found leave-in & gel that didn’t have any. I really like Alba Botanica leave-in & strong hold style gel. But the gel is really heavy, my hair is very coarse compared to yours.

    Seriously, went from brillo pad to bunny fur! Frizz virtually gone. I wish I’d known all this when I was younger. Wah!

    1. Ok, I just looked at all my stuff this am, and none SAY silicone. Some actually say “silicone-free” – would it be in the ingredients as something else?

  9. oh, I can relate! and I fear it’ll be a lifelong issue for me as well. we have very similar hair, but my hair is also very thick and dry, and, um, there’s lots of it :)
    my hairdresser recommended only using shampoo every once in a while, and it’s really worked out for me. this has also pretty much stopped my endless search for the right shampoo and conditioner – but I’ve had some pretty good experiences with aveda’s be curly and their conditioner for dry hair, it just took a while before I started seeing the effect, it took more than one time using it.
    I just let my hair get wet in the shower, then make it towel-dry and let it dry naturally after that. luckily (and strangely), my hair dries pretty fast. if I blow-dry, my hair looks like an exploded mushroom.
    I used to use a fantastic product (i fotgot the name) that I also got at the salon, but the last time I bought it, suddenly it had these weird white thingies in it that then stayed in my hair, looking oddly dandruff-like. not a good look. after that, I’ve sort of let things slip a little, usually wearing my hair up. I need a good cut and to get some products that work well. and I also need to buy some new make-up. I usually only use some under-eye concealer and some mascara, but I think some regular lipstick and some eyeshadow/liner might be nice.
    I also dye my hair – stray gray hairs started showing up when I was about 23, and now at 27 there’s some serious greyness going on. sigh… this adds to the dry-ness, and a couple of weeks ago I tried a hair mask that really helped – I picked a handful of rosemary from the garden, put that in a cup of oil (I used olive-oil, but I figure just about any oil would do), heated that to infuse the rosemary a little, strained it, and then put the oil in my hair. I left it for about an hour, then washed it out (with my boyfriend’s head ‘n shoulders, hahaha). my hair has never been softer and shinier! and it didn’t look greasy after the washing, just really shiny and with Defined Curls. I need to do that again…

    it took me a loooong time to start loving my hair. it only started happening a few years ago.

    also: don’t get your moles removed! I think they add to your beauty.

    did that sound weird?

      1. oh – I forgot to mention, after putting the oil in my hair I wrapped my head in plastic wrap (shrink wrap? saran wrap? english is not my native language, I’m not sure what the word is exactly) (I also see I spelled ‘grey’ different at different times in my comment) and then in a towel. otherwise, the oil drips down your neck and it’s gross!!

    1. Hmmm. Ok. So I did the olive oil thing. At first I was like “YES!” because when I put it on all my curls sproinged up tiny and perfect. Then I rinsed. And rinsed again. And it was still super oily so I had to shampoo. Twice. Now my hair is a huge frizzy mess, worse than before. Meh. What am I doing wrong?

      1. oh no!!!
        when I did this, I only shampood once, and it worked perfectly. maybe it’s because my hair is super dry and it just soaked up all the oil? or maybe it looked super greasy but no one bothered to tell me…
        I feel so bad!! the first time I leave a comment on your lovely blog, and it ruins your hair!

    1. It’s all the great Mediterranean light we’ve been getting lately! Seriously though, up close it’s getting scary. I got this weird discolored patch around my mouth from hormones, either being pregnant or the fibroids, and lots of little wrinkles and spots. SPOTS. It’s because it was SO nice when I was younger, I got used to it!!

      I hate the dullness too! I’m going to track down deep conditioning today.

  10. Have you tried Redken Fresh Curls? Though not curly, per se, my hair is wavy, coarse and frizzy, and I quite like this product for it. My stylist recommended it to me maybe 8 years ago, when I was still living in FL (which …hello humidity! worsens frizzies for sure)and one of the little old ladies in the shop described the scent as that of a “handsome man”. When I questioned her about that she said, and I quote, “well, it smells like MONEY, honey!”

    FYI, I don’t know about their practices or much about the company as a whole, but I see your brow kit up there (Urban Decay? probably what, like $25?) and I have to tell you, if you are looking to save a little bit of money (to spend on kittens or cupcakes or champagne instead!), E.L.F. makes practically the same thing and it does an amazing job, for like, $3 or something. http://www.eyeslipsface.com/studio/eyes/eyebrows/eyebrow_kit . And I promise, I am not a shill, either!

    1. Embarrassing story about that eyebrow stuff – it was totally a “corner and intimidate” type sale at the Macy’s makeup dept. These girls ganged up and attacked my eyebrows and then cooed a lot and I was like OH GOD FINE I’LL BUY IT JEEZ.

      I didn’t even know I NEEDED eyebrow wax. But I do love it, and it’ll probably last forever. I don’t mind spending on things like mascara where I really see a huge difference from drugstore brands, but it’s good to know where you can cut corners.

  11. I’ve always thought your skin looks impeccable in photos!

    As for hair, have you tried Mixed Chicks? (www.mixedchicks.net) Regardless of ethnicity, I have friends who swear by it.

  12. Hi lady. My hair isn’t as curly as yours, but it’s uncontrollably wavy, frizzes in this climate (I love the way my hair and skin look in SoCal, where it’s dry – I think I’m the only one who loves that air), and has the tendency to triangulate with a bad/DIY haircut (and I’ve had many of those!).

    The Living Proof products are way overpriced and don’t work that well, I agree. I’m trying their shampoo and conditioner and only really like the conditioner.

    For no-frizz and amazing glossiness, I LOVE LOVE LOVE Ojon’s glossing cream. It’s $30, but a teensy bit goes a long way and it actually works. They sell it at Sephora and Pure Beauty carries it, too. FYI: I do NOT recommend their shampoo; it was expensive, did nothing for my hair, and was so disgustingly perfumed that I got rid of it while it was still half-full.

    Skincare – I could talk about that for days. Maybe we should get together and chat about girlstuff. Hee!

    1. No, you’re not the only one! I visited Joshua Tree with my family 10 years ago, and it was like the best my hair ever looked/felt! The frizz was just pulled right out. Too bad I live 3,000 miles away!

  13. honestly, i gave up on my curls years ago. i, too, have a mix of ringlets and intolerable frizz. add in the fact that my hair is incredibly thick, and you’ve got one hot mess on my head. i’ve had it “styled” properly and even though it’s the natural state of my hair, it never looks right on me. you, however, look adorable. my major beef with curls is that they have to be done and reconfigured EVERY DAY. i do not have the patience for that bullcrap. so, i blow out my hair every week and don’t touch it again until it retains its ponytail shape even after i’ve taken the rubberband out. then i know it’s time for a wash. 😉

    1. I think I need to figure out the blow out. The times I’ve had hairstylists do it post-cut, I like it, and can keep it about a week. I’m always surprised when people with perfect glossy hair tell me it’s actually curly – I need to stop thinking of straightening as an impossible task and just do it. (My hair person actually said some of her clients make their husbands learn to do it for them. What. That might be pushing it in my case. Also dangerous.)

  14. Silicones are anything ending in -cone, -xane, -conol, etc.

    Some of these are the most common: Cyclopentasiloxane, Amodimethicone, Dimethiconol, Dimethicone, Cyclomethicone

  15. The Kevin Murphy product I referred to is not a leave-in, it’s a “Anti-Frizz Creme”. It’s called Easy Rider. Now I have to go see if it’s got silicone.

    I also like the Alba shampoo/condish, although my hair is short enough that I dont’ have to be too fussy about that part and i don’t shampoo very often.

  16. woo woo! no silicones! Lots of botanicals though. I remember when I checked our hair products to see if they were OK for greywater and was surprised to find that most of them were not only natural but mostly organic. i’m a self-selecting hippie.

  17. coconut oil (just from the grocery or health food store) is the bomb for deep conditioning. Best and most wallet-friendly thing I’ve ever used on my hair, and it smells yummy too.

  18. Damn, I love the Aveda Be Curly stuff, so no new advice. But boy do I sympathize, because before I found that stuff I was FRIZZ CITY. My biggest tip is to NOT TOUCH the hair until it is dry. Put in the product and fluff and then NO TOUCHY.

    I have had limited success with gel.

  19. I just can’t skimp on good hair and skin care anymore. For shampoos and conditioners, I’ve been using Aubrey Organics (paraben and sulfate free, supremely gentle and smell nice); washing my face with either Caudalie foaming cleanser or a Collective Wellbeing gentle honey scrub; moisturizer is Laura Mercier; and I’ve built up a good amount of NARS, Illamasqua and MAC make up, combined with some trusted and more affordable brands like stuff from Benefit and Cover Girl. My favorite new lipstick is one Jesse got me as a present, Illamasqua’s Drench (http://www.makeupalley.com/product/showreview.asp/ItemId=122532/Drench_/Illamasqua/Lipstick) and my dab and go make up routine is usually tinted Laura Mercier moisturizer, mineral powder to set, curl lashes & use Benefit BadGal mascara, the Benefit eyebrow pencil & just a dab of MAC’s paintpot in Groundwork on the eyelids for some color. Takes like 3 minutes.

  20. Agreeing with Meg that these pix of you are *adorable*. As for hair…I will say that as I get older, my curls do change. Around 32-33, my hair really changed, and my curls were very disagreeable until I learned what they wanted to do now. I’ll echo what lots of folks already said. I don’t use shampoo, except when they wash my hair at my haircut. I’m not totally loyal to the no-poo philosophy, but have learned a lot from naturallycurly.com and the Curly Girl book. I “shampoo” with conditioner, and follow with leave-in conditioner. I was a huge fan of the Bumble an Bumble gel, but now I’m using the B & B holding foam for curly hair. I was REALLY skeptical of it (looks susiciously like mousse), but it has made my hair really sproingy and well defined and not crunchy. Big fan of the scrunching with a t-shirt or towel procedure. Then air-dry. Scrunch if product dries crunchy (which with the foam, is rare). that’s my story…

  21. But you are so babe-ly! And it helps seeing you and knowing that being a total looker at 35 is not the impossible dream that so many are led to believe.

    I have hair that is probably in direct opposition to yours: fine, whimpy, thinning and indecisively wavy (but only when it feels like it!) so… no advice here. My grandmother was devoted to once a week mayonnaise deep conditioning treatment for her wavy and often-permed hair. The smell was off-putting but the results were pretty good. As far as other granny solutions go, I’ve had good results with apple cider vinegar and a cool water rinse. Also, my impenetrably curly-haired friend has noted the difference that drying her hair with a t shirt or other jersey knit makes. She claims that the terrycloth fibers cause too much yanking and, thus, too much frizzing.

    I turned 27 this year and released that it was time for me to start actually washing, moisturizing and sun-screening my face, like, every day. So long, cavalier punk rock attitude towards hygiene!

  22. I hated my curls so much in high school that I hacked them all off into a pixie-sometimes-buzz-cut. I have tried for six years to grow them out again, failing consistently and returning to the clippers. I am going to win this time, I think, though sadly right now I am in the same boat as you and the only advice I have to give is that learning to crochet hats can be very helpful. Oh, and that if you’re going to brush them out to get waves (which inexplicably works sometimes and frees me from hattitude) natural bristle brushes are sooo nice. I don’t know if that’s something that you’re into, though.

  23. Hey,
    first I gotta say, as a fellow curly, many of your pics make me jealous you have great style and know how to work those curls!
    Anyway, my tips?
    #1) Silicones are bad” is a big ole myth! . They’re like witches in the Middle Ages: one part misunderstanding and several parts made-up or nonexistent bullshit about their supposed evils.
    Check out The Beauty Brains’ site – they’re actual scientists who’ll give you the straight dope on this.
    #2) Coconut oil and olive oil are two of the only oils proven to be able to penetrate the hair’s cortex. They work even better as a blend, though you can go heaver on the Coconut because of the smell factor. Either saturate your hair before shampooing as a pre-wash deep conditioning or rub a small amount into clean hair.
    #3) You can make your own serums on the cheap by purchasing silicones from sites like lotioncrafter.com. If you have baby fine hair, silicones may weigh it down, but for fighting frizz and flyaways, and locking in moisture, nothing compares!

    1. I know this always comes off as pompous, but I think it’s important you know my credentials because if you hunt me down you’ll see my hair is bone straight. It’s so straight, it’s practically square. I’m a real-as-it-gets hair stylist, I work at a Bumble and Bumble salon (and I have worked with Matrix, Redken, TIGI, BedHead, Biolage, KMS, Paul Mitchell, Oribe, Frederick Fekkai, Di:fi, American Crew, etc.) and I have 7 years of pro-experience.

      I have a LOT of Curly haired clients. A LOT. What I have learned I have learned from them. Curls need special attention, and everyones curls are different. Blah blah blah I could go on for days, but let me give you my run-down!

      First off – How’s the water quality in your shower? Maybe it’s time to do a little pH testing and slip a filer on that puppy. You won’t beeeelieve what a difference this will make. It took me from conditioning and hating my hair to not conditioning ever and LOVING LIFE.

      Secondly – I would recommend Bumble and Bumble Curl Conscious Smoothing Shampoo and Conditioner. Honestly these are the best I have ever used on curly hair. No matter the type (except baby fine!) this stuff is fantastic. The shampoo is gentle and the conditioner is more of a semi-treatment. When you use it as your every day conditioner you can eventually wean yourself down from using the amount you started with. It gives more of a long term moisturizing effect than standard conditioner which only works as a superficial temporary coating on the exterior of the hair shaft. Bb CC conditioner goes deeper. Start with a dollop about the size of 4 quarters and in a week or two, drop that to 2 quarters. Always apply to your ends first and just wipe the remainder on your roots. Roots are always in prime condition. It’s the ends that have gone through months (sometimes years) of environmental, chemical, and mechanical stress. **Don’t forget to squeeze out the excess moisture from your shampoo rinse before you apply your conditioner! Your hair is just like a sponge, and if it’s full of water it cannot absorb the conditioner molecules.

      Thirdly – Don’t rinse out all of that conditioner! Leave about 50-30% of it on your hair (: If your hair is majorly wiped of moisture the Curl Conscious will just soak right into your hair the first few times and you won’t have much to rinse anyways. Just a light going over with warm to cool water is best. Hot water frays open the exterior of your hair (which lays like shingles on a roof or scales on a fish), lets moisture seep out, and brings on the frizz!

      Fourth(ly?) – If you still feel tangles and dryness throughout the mid-shaft and ends of your hair, perhaps a little leave in and/or pH balancing spray is in order. After a week or two of using the Curl Conscious, this usually goes away. As long as you’re not a chronic bleacher… and it looks like you’re not! Yay! Bleached curls SUCK. Anyways, Bumble has a wicked cream leave in (It’s called Leave In haha) that is pH balanced for hair (pH balancing your hair smooths the exterior layer resulting in less tangles, more shine, quicker drying time, less frizz, “clumpier” curls, etc.) and the Leave In is not greasy at all! It’s pretty lovely. If you don’t like to touch your curls much after you do your “plopping” after the shower then I highly recommend Tonic Lotion (again, Bb.) It’s a vitamin water for your hair and scalp that again, will pH balance you, and help with any scalp imbalances. It has a little Tea Tree Oil in it so it smells divine but is still color safe.

      Fifthly – PRODUCT TIME! Have I out-typed everyone yet? hahaha.. Hi, nice to meet you… Annnnyways, depending on your personal preference for how you like your curls to feel you have a few options. It sounds like you do require your final product to have HOLD and control but you probably don’t want it crunchy or tacky, eh? I would choose one of two options here and I will explain the difference afterwards. Option one: 70% Bb. Gel mixed with 30% Bb. Defrizz OR Paul Mitchell Super Skinny Serum. Option two: Bb. Holding Foam. Now do you see why I’m responding below Sarah and Christina? Both of these options are devoid of alcohol which is very important. That crap might help your curls look fab initially but it will eventually deplete your hair of moisture. Bad, alcohol, bad! Option one has a smoother consistency to work with as you apply it and has a little bit of a softer end result (NOT FLUFFY, soft.) The Defrizz/Super Skinny will help break the initial stiffness of the “Gel” but once your hair is dry you might still want to gently break up any areas that have a touch of stiffness to them. The Bb. Gel isn’t really a gel in any way that we have previously understood gels except for the appearance and consistency. It is alcohol free, flake free, and when it dries it won’t make your hair into a hard, sharp secret weapon! It has more memory than hold, if you will. Bb. Holding Foam is a tad tackier initially but will still be soft and smooth when dry. I find it isn’t as fantastic for making curls tighten up and come “in”, if you will, as the Bb. Gel and DeFrizz combo. Holding Foam provides a touch of volume to your hair and it has excellent smoothing and clumping properties, as does option number one.

      Whew! Anyways, I’m sure you know, but it’s like the conclusion to my essay so I have to slip it in. Don’t over-fondle your hair while it’s drying! Avoid diffusers/blowers if you are trying to avoid excess height and body. By the look of your curls, air drying is your friend <3

      If you made it through this let me know what you think! If you have any further questions just drop me an e-mail.

      Your curls are beautiful, as are you!
      Teresa

  24. First, you look young. Enjoy it. LOL

    I do my research online at Beautypedia – the only place I trust for scientifically-based information. Normally, I pay a yearly fee to access the site, but it’s free until the end of February.

    My latest face makeup is L’Oreal Magic Smooth Souffle. Love it. Other than that, you could consider adding a serum like Olay Regenerist or something like that.

  25. Ugh, curly hair is both a tragedy and wonderful…both at the same time. At least for me it is. I have naturally curly/wavy, super super thick hair and have been trying to manage and improve it over for I guess a few years now.

    I have found one of the things that affects my finished do the most is WHEN I put my product in. Whether its when its nearly dripping, a few min after being towel dried, or nearly half dried, it makes a huge difference. Work with the timing of using some of your current products – you might find you like some more if you use them at the right time.

    I NEVER brush or comb my hair (unless I blow dry it to straighten it). I comb through it with my fingers when conditioning but that’s it. After its washed/conditioned I wrap it in a towel and towel dry, remove the towel, add product (being careful not to brush or pull on it too much), and move the pieces/chunks to kind of make a part. That’s it! The less I touch it the better, even if I think there will be a huge snarl (because the next time it gets brushed or combed is with my fingers in the shower). Also, once your products are in, don’t touch it again because it adds frizzies, even if you think you “aren’t doing much.”

    Another tip (to help use products you currently own) is to mix two or more together in one application. Something that controls frizz and adds curl hold. Maybe its obvious but it wasn’t to me when I first heard it. Just rub product together on your palms and add at the same time to avoid touching your hair an extra time.

    Hmmm…hope I covered everything. I find these tips work the best. Well enough to have a mop head of hair that looks decent, not rats nesty, somewhat put together. Hope it helps!

    And wahoo for not having to wash our hairs everyday! That’s my fave part of curly hair. :) Twice a week is bonus enough for me!

  26. I’m jealous of your curls… I always wanted curls. My hair is fine and wavy, always somewhere in between straight and curly.

    If the Aveda curl stuff didn’t work for you it might just be too heavy – I swear by their ‘Smooth Infusion Style-Prep Smoother’ – it’s extremely light and it gives my waves slight definition and prevents frizzies but doesn’t weigh them down or make them look greasy (and my hair looks greasy REALLY easily)

  27. 1. it’s hard for me to do no shampoo. I compromise by using a tiny, tiny amount, and putting it only in that spot on the back of my scalp that tends to greasify. I barely suds it at all. Particular shampoo doesn’t matter much- medium to high end drugstore is fine. A bottle of the coconut organix has lasted me 5 months. it’s a small bottle.

    2. The conditioner I’ve found that works for me is Nexxus Humectress. This was a long and arduous road. It’s pretty basic but I’ve found it to be reliable over time, unlike some (pantene! garnier!) that build up and do weird things after extended use. 4-6 pumps of conditioner does me right, and I have a lot of hair. I concentrate on the front frizz-halo and the ends, ignoring the aforementioned grease-prone scalp area.
    2a. I haaaate taking a shower and not doing something to my hair. Just feels wonky. If my hair is pretty clean to begin with, I’ll “shampoo” it with just water to break up any greasiness, and use one pump of conditioner.

    3. about that lot of hair: it’s fine, but it’s really long. I spent my youth pining for waist-length, flowing locks, but allowing my frizzhead to be pruned to practically nothing, believing it to be the only way of managing the curls. Then one day, I said fuck it. Counterintuitively, the longer my hair, the easier to manage. One, it adds more weight, which makes the curls relax. No more Roseanne Roseannadanna triangle head. Two, if things are really bad, I can fluff it up even crazier and make it into a big poufy, tendril-y bun that people will think I actually spent time on.

    4. Sometimes I use the same cocoa butter lotion I use on my skin on my hair as a moisturizer/emergency de-frizzer. Tiny bit. People are right about olive oil. Personally, I found coconut oil to be too greasy. I wash at night and sleep on it wet. Most days are fine. I wet it a tiny bit in the morning (basically use it to dry my hands after I rinse my face) and never, ever, ever, ever comb it. I sort of twist it into a tight bun to reset the curl and let it set while I do the rest of my routine, then release the hounds last thing. After about 25 years of fighting my hair, the last few years have been pretty good. I call it a good day if I can last all day with my hair down- no emergency bun-poufs.

    5. When you’re in a standoff with your curls, it’s tempting to change whatever failed you one day. Resist. And don’t deny the impact of the weather on these matters. Try to be consistent with a routine and see how it plays out over time. Curls are like kindergartners that way. Don’t ditch a product after one rough day, especially if it’s humid out.

  28. i have frizzy curly/wavy hair, and when i wash i try to wash at night (every 3-4days) and spray this biolage’s leave in hair tonic. i spray a ton in, and comp through and arrange the parts in the back that tend to poof and not wave nicely and air dry. in the morning i flat iron my bangs (poor babies) and put some goop in it (i have so much for curly hair) but mostly i put jojoba (a thin, thin coat) on the ends/ frizzy. the curls looks soft usually, but after the 2nd or 3rd day they look the best. then i flat iron lightly for the last few days before washing again because my hair gets limp biscuit.

    i really love bumble and bumble’s cocoa shampoo, and the curly mama shampoo. it works!

  29. I HAD the perfect solution for my curls–the Panteve ProV hydrating curls conditioner with any shampoo, followed by Body Shop’s Brazilian Nut Define and No Frizz Cream. Now for some ungodly reason Pantene got rid of hydrating curls and has some new weird inferior curl products and I have not found a replacement yet. The Body Shop cream is still great, though.

  30. Oh my gosh, these sorts of posts are my absolute favorite. Whenever I find a new blog, I usually go on a search for a post just like this. It’s just…oddly fascinating.

    I can’t believe you’re 35! I would have placed you at 27/28.

      1. Pfft! Gorgeous, I’m turning 24 in about a month, so I automatically assume people are older than I am 😉 That’s the only reason why I figured you were 27/28. If I were 20, you’d probably be about 23.

        When people tell me that they think I’m older, I realize that they mean that I come off more mature than early to mid twenties, but I have a minor meltdown on the inside and go “OH GOD YOU THINK I LOOK OOOOOOOOOLD”.

  31. hi, just found your site through doorsixteen. have you tried the ouidad products? they are supposed to be for curly hair and i’d love to read a review!

    1. I did! I got the sampler from Sephora. I didn’t like it but I was traveling at the time so it could have been water type, humidity, who knows. It just really dried my hair out and didn’t make the curls springy.

  32. Seriously, you are gorg and you look about 25, but I hear you on having your age sink in. I’ve started to realize I’m turning 34 this year and it’s got me scrambling to figure out a routine beyond: wash hair/face, put hair in ponytail, walk out door.

  33. I totally hear you about CURLS! Some days I love them some days I hate them. I am struggling right now…I can’t seem to get them right. Your curls have looked great in your blog! I was looking at old photos of myself and thought “wow my hair looked good.” But I have NO idea what I was using on my hair at the time…..so I can’t go back.
    A few things I’ve discovered living with curls for 31 yrs(!):
    1. Everyone’s curls are different. What works for someone might not work for you.
    2. Shampoo less often – once a week or so, if you can deal with that, also use gentle shampoo (no sulfates)
    3. What has made a difference for me is not using a regular towel for drying. I use a floursack towel and don’t leave my hair in it too long.

    Still can’t get them curls right…but I’m trying!!! Good luck on your quest! xo

  34. I have fine but pencil ringlet curls and medium thickness. I shampoo every day and use a good conditioner. I like bumble and bumble, the detangling solution from Matrix Biolage hydrathérapie and Pureology. For me the trick is catching my hair at the right moisture level. I use a super absorbent hair towel and leave it on maybe 5-10 min. It’s not wet but the ends are not too dry yet. My favorite product of all time is Matrix Biolage Smoothing Shine Milk. I apply to ends and other frizzy areas and work through with fingers and a comb. Then I arrange as I want, often I twist the curls. Then I let it air dry or diffuse gently. When it’s fully dry I finger pick it loose and it’s awesome. Shiny, silky, curls.

  35. Ha… the very fact that there a kajillion comments on this post is proof that the sisterhood of the HAIR is alive and well! I feel you. Am about to be 35 in July and over this past year, I have wondered what happened to my hair and skin of yesteryear.. what the heck? I have hair growing, lines growing, and my move to the desert of Nevada from gorgeous California has not helped. My hair is wavy and thick and RED (so I can’t hide a bad hair day), and now weirdly, I have my under-layers going all rebel on me and turning into a totally different texture than the top, akin to steel wool. The product mixing ideas posted in here have worked the best for me.. (see above, generally – so if I have a weird day with my rebel underhair, I splurt in a little extra moisturizing.. or less). I like the Pureology line.. I used to steal it from my roommates, and once had a brand new curl creme (Pureology and BRAND NEW) confiscated at the airport as oversize, which made me want to cry. The Sisterhood would understand. This ****, and ye olde product search is expensive! I am trying now, the new fancy Suaves, since I am brokeface.

  36. This is totally off topic (though I think your skin looks amazeballs) but what kind of glasses are you wearing? I lurve them. I want them.

      1. Oh, hey! I know that place. I used to walk by there almost every day when I worked at the boutique across the street. I live in Boston now though. Shucks. Well, they are super-fantastic and they look awesome on you!

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