It’s become very clear that I don’t have a style so much as a series of characters. Sunshine makes the boating prep come out! I’m not quite sure who this character is, but she likes blue more than I used to. I’ve moved from fire-colors to cool blues and greens.
“Oh no, I ate all the cake!”
& the Professor snuck me some new shoes as a present.
I’ve worn them every day since I got them. I LOVE BEING TALL. It’s amazing. I don’t need to stop eating cake, I just need bigger shoes to balance out the booty.
Ohhh, but that, that’s a serious thing maybe I should talk about? I don’t know. Looking at style sites makes me SO depressed and old feeling. Probably because I’m 15 years and 30 lbs bigger than everyone else on there. It’s actually crazy, I don’t even like their ridiculous style or knobby knees! Ok, I’m officially a crazy old lady.
Let’s start a social network for aging bookworm witches. Yes. Please. The wedding is bringing up all these HUGE aging issues — at our 5 year anniversary I’ll be 40, that kind of thing. 40. I can’t even fathom. I’m still 15 in my head, I stopped time in 1990. I feel like I’ve done so much in life but I don’t feel like I have anything tangible. I don’t know what I want my next steps to be. I think I just haven’t actually caught up to the years as they happen!! It’s always a constant tumbling surviving and there’s no time to stop and reflect!! Where do I want my career to go, where do I want to live, should I start trying for children, how will the future unfold? What are the steps I should be taking? & then this strange feeling of “oh, by the time I figure that out I’ll be ANCIENT, why bother?” which I know is not logical but still exists, in my mind.
So, yeah. Aging is a struggle, my weight is a struggle, I’m in that cozy nesty enabling phase where we just want to eat pie and snuggle, I want to get in shape for the wedding but I don’t feel like I have time for the gym.
I have time for the gym. The gym is 6 blocks away. There is yoga every day. Go to the gym. That was me hypnotizing myself. It will totally work.
I happen to think you’re style is terrific, so we can be crazy old ladies who admire each other.
I have a hard time looking at that site too, but I always remind myself that I didn’t have clothes like that at 15 because my dad saved to pay my way through college and I have no debt. It kinda makes me feel better.
I am modeling for Dr. Sketchy in my city next month. I volunteered for it. Why? Apparently I am a masochist who can’t stay away from dessert and chips unless there’s a goal involved. It’s a harsh way to live, checking one’s bum in the mirror and having to imagine a bunch of people drawing it.
But I digress. You look great. I love the sweater and scarf and the shoes. I love it all! Keep up the picture taking, if only it’s to post them here! You’re a total doll!!
Now, that’s a brilliant idea. Getting married hasn’t given me any motivation, everyone said that a wedding dress goal would be motivating — ummm, nope.
I can completely relate to your feelings about aging and feeling weird at fashion communities, I tried them last year and gave up because of the fact that I was too old!
I don’t actually feel old until I look at them! Ha. It’s so strange to think about the level of connectivity kids have now.
i share your feelings about aging–i think the doom aspect of what is considered ‘old’ is lowered every year, and as per usual, i’m sure The Internet is to blame. i mean, i’m 27, and i feel the same way. will i want to feel that i’ve wasted my youth feeling like this when i’m *actually* older? of course not. so i should just stop, right? easier said than done. sigh.
i love your style and i love the idea of your little non-club-club. i relate so much to inhabiting different characters rather than having a static sense of style…it’s not often that you meet people who feel the same and understand that it’s not for want of personality or about lacking a strong sense of self.
I think it’s more about a theatrical personality! It’s too limiting for me to have one “look.”
The feeling that “old age” is lower and lower is totally related to the options kids have younger and younger. I mean, you can self publish your writing, art, music, you can get discovered at 13, you dont have to go through the past channels of working the way up the ladder — when success comes easily at 18 — where do you go from there?
It’ll be interesting to see how this pans out in the future – will it start self destructing? Will ‘celebrity’ and ‘success’ become so watered down and mainstream that it wont mean anything and people will have to do MORE AND BIGGER until they implode from overwork? Who knows.
Like this kid, who is what, 12? http://www.youtube.com/user/greyson97#p/a/u/1/bxDlC7YV5is
jesus!
as much as i think warhol and his concept of fame are overcited… there is a lot of truth in his 15 minutes prediction…
i don’t think keeping it is about over work so much as its about remaining current… and that doesn’t have to be a thought out process just an ongoing one… also, thats not to say that one has to remain current in a particularly watered down and easily accessible way… just follow yer path and never stop… it’s stopping that makes one old…
i agree, but i think the web definitely is wired (haha) for the “next big thing” concept – and it’s changing the way we absorb art, trends, & music.
They’re so young! And shiny! I would not want to be that young nowadays. Growing up with the cell phones and the facebook and the pressure to keep up appearances under constant surveillance. It was bad enough without that stuff and it’s bad enough as an “adult”…and I’m only 25. Anyway you look great and those kids should look up to you. Someday they’ll have jobs and their metabolisms will slow down.
So true – I constantly feel super blessed that I grew up in Vermont & didn’t have anything like cliques or weight crap or fashion contests in school – none of that existed at all. I cannot even imagine what it would be like to deal with all that on top of being a teenager.
have you seen these folks?!
http://advancedstyle.blogspot.com/
it’s definitely the other extreme but they are great nonetheless.
Blah, gym is depressing !
Just jump on big shoesies, now that sounds like a plan !
(That is mine, anyway !)
All I bear to do is “useful” sport : like biking instead of taking the metro …
And you are super gorgeous,anyway. I feel the same about style sites, I never check them … They are boring. I need more “food for thought” than just style.
x x x
___m___
dude. i understand. i can relate to like, every point made in this post. i feel like i’ve been eternally seventeen (which i think might be a good band name too…) since 1992. i look young, but i think that there’s more to it than that. i think it’s about staying alert and open and always thinking. always thinking.
i find your style totally inspirational; there’s only a handful of people that i follow on w_r just because of the fact that most people have very boring style!!! i don’t think that most people think about why they dress a certain way, or try to invent a story behind an outfit, or even take cues from anything other than “what’s new at h&m this week?!!!” and i find it incredibly boring. unbeknownst to my coworkers that see me in my dirty camping/work attire, i like a little theatricality with my fashion. i’m not talking about that trite teenage girl in the woods “photography” either. gah! i’m so mean today! haha who am i kidding? i’m mean everyday. i’m talking about putting some thought into what clothing can say; what clothing can do for you! i mean, how fun is it to get dressed up in a suede jacket and beaded headdress and drink jack right out of the bottle? c’mon! it’s fun! you can be whoever you want to be, whenever you want to be.
i kind of feel like i’m in transition right now. i’m not exactly sure what that means yet. i feel like i’m at a standstill. everything is quiet, like the calm before the storm. perhaps the realisation that i am actually turning 35 this year is impacting more than any other birthday EVER! that clock is ticking but i don’t wanna grow up!
Let me just say that I am so glad you’re not a plain ol’ young hipster Jane with no figure. You’re an inspiring witchy pagan woodland creature! A woman, not a little girl. But still very youthful – the way a fae would do. Be proud of your self, I’m serious serious :]
Our figures are a lot alike except I never get good photos taken of me, so it’s impossible to tell….but…..if it’s any consolation, I’ve been going to the park every evening (no matter what! – just do it!)….and making myself walk/jog/just move consistently for atLEAST 30 minutes. And it’s so much more freshing than a gym could be. During my run, I zen out and notice things…feel connected…push myself…rejuvenate. And the best past!? I am usually worn out after work so making myself go to the park is hard sometimes – however – AFTER I finish exercising I have a second wind that lasts me until I sleep (which is a great sleep by the way). Go do it, lady. It’s rewarding. You look great, though. Exercise can be such an elixir for other things, too…spiritual and the like.
Weeeeeee wedding, life, embrace, grace :] Shrug those silly social norms away – you’re so much cooler :p
Ah, thank you! I do bike 10 miles a day now to and from work, I’m not exactly sedentary! But I’m just under 130lbs now, and ideally by the wedding I’d be 115. Unlikely, because I eat like a 14 year old boy – cheeseburgers, fried chicken sandwiches, cakes, several servings of ice cream a day – it’s a bit insane. I think my terrible eating is much more to blame than my not going to the gym, to be honest!! ;D ah, the siren call of cake!!
I am right at 130, as well. Atleast, I think so. I haven’t weighed myself in a long long time. I usually go by how I look and feel. As far as eating goes – it’s difficult to eat well, especially in this country driven by convenience and low prices (with who knows what as ingredients).
You know how you look back on old photos and think, “man I looked good!” — well, you’re probably going to do that now, as everyone looks at your photos and goes “Wow!”
:]
Oh, I love these sailor looks! I never get tired of sailor looks
Love,
Aya ♥ StrawberryKoi.blogspot.com
I am perpetually a teenager forever as well – with conflicting baby-cravings and yearning for adventures and freedom – I dunno how to pick.
It’s true, I so very rarely go boating without a shiny vinyl purse.
Sailors and cake are my two favorite things. Also hats. So you’re three for three.
Keeps the water out! ;D