10 things I learned about paris

July 8th, 2010

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amourI work as the Web Strategist for Fair Trade Certified, and every year there’s a meeting in Bonn, Germany, to discuss marketing and communications, to brainstorm, and to meet our colleagues overseas. This is the first time I’ve attended, and my first trip to Paris! We flew in and out of Paris because it was cheaper, oddly enough. The first week of my trip was a day and a half in Paris, 2 in Bonn with meetings all day, one in Brussels with meetings, and then back to Paris for meetings for 2 days. Then I had 4 days off by myself to explore Paris.

I started this trip out pretty cranky, but the good news is it ended with lovely times. I wasn’t able to sleep or adjust to the jet lag for the first 4 days, so I had a total meltdown. Ooops.

leonIt was a very very different experience the last 4 days I was in Paris, as I was on my own (vs. with my co-worker, whom I shared a hotel room with for 8 days, and not working and rushing around Germany and Belgium) and able to do exactly what I wanted. Had the whole trip been like this (and still expenses paid) it probably would have been a dream. Alas, that life is not mine!

gardunordThough I’ve noticed it before, this trip made me realize how much my entire being deplores change. Before I started visiting Vermont a lot, I experienced the same thing even there – the 1st week was an adjustment to being somewhere new, and I hated it, and then the 2nd week I adored it and didn’t want to go home. Knowing this, I should plan my travels accordingly. Too bad America doesn’t believe in month holidays, like Europe!

So, this first post is a short guide for people who are maybe on the hermit-y side, maybe don’t like crowds so much, and maybe are a little prone to being grumpy – even in Paris.

The next few Paris posts will be maps and walks, & the favorite places I visited.

1. Get a Parisian friend
The indispensible Mathyld’s sweetness made up for any meanesss from Parisians. The legendary crankiness of Parisians toward Americans was also true in my experience, with men being pretty friendly and women being mean. This wasn’t universal, but enough that it stood out to me. After a week, when I felt more comfortable speaking a little French, this did improve. (Mind you, I never walked up and was like “Hi, y’all! Reckon you could git me one of them there bag-ettes?”)

Anyway, you get a nice Parisian friend, she makes little tours and maps and plans, you see everything that is lovely, and people are nice. The end.

muffinsShe met us at the train from Germany with fresh, rose-shaped, Fair Trade Certified banana muffins. Amazing, right?

2. GPS is the best thing since sliced bread
Seriously. Even though if you stay in one place you’ll get used to it quickly (within 24 hours I managed to orient myself to a new area) it still is the handiest thing ever. I signed up for roaming data before I left, otherwise it’s quite spendy. It was handy to be able to instantly map my current location to my next destination, and I felt empowered to go on (Situationist style) dérive walks knowing at the end I would be able to get back to my hotel.

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3. En Francias, s’il vous plait
Learn French. Practice French. Practice HEARING French. It will make your life 100982907283972 times nicer in Paris. I was asked directions a lot, and instead of staring blankly like a moron, it would be better to have said:

I’m sorry, I’m not from Paris.
Désolé(e), je ne suis pas de Paris.

& kept walking like I had somewhere to go. The annoying thing is, I DO know enough French to have answered most of these, but I was so out of practice and shy that I just became paralyzed with mortification & couldn’t speak. So yes, practice.

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Some things people may ask you:
Dinner or drinks?
C’est pour manger ou pour boire?

Have you decided?
Avez-vous décidé?

Are you finished?
Avez-vous fini?

We have other sizes.
Nous avons d’autres tailles.

Can I help you?
Puis-je vous aider ?

Learn these phrases (assuming you know basic greetings, excuse me, thank you, etc):
May I sit here?
Puis-je m’asseoir ici ?

May I sit outside?
Puis-je m’asseoir dehors ?

Do you have this in size ___?
Avez-vous ceci en taille ___ ?

How much is this?
Combien ça coute ?

I would like…
Je voudrais…

…a glass of water.
…un verre d’eau

…the check, please.
…l’addition, s’il vous plait

I am a vegetarian.
Je suis végétarien(ne).

Where are the toilets / is the bathroom ?
Où sont les toilettes ?

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4. Don’t eat
Ok, well, eat. But be careful. Maybe the whole “walking 8 hours a day and eating what you like” works in your 20s, but in your mid-thirties, you may as well just staple those baguettes right to your thighs. This could probably be helped by NOT going to Paris during the hottest week of the year, where ice cream is consumed nonstop. I started doing well, getting salads, eating light at nice places, but as the heat wore on and the money ran out, I ended up with a diet of bread and ice cream. Yeah, gross. Don’t do this. So yes, I did gain weight in Paris, even walking 8-10 hours (literally) in a day.

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French women really are as thin as people say. It’s pretty nerve-wracking and by the end of the trip I felt yucky both from what I was eating and from seeing women so thin their legs wobble from the effort of keeping themselves standing. Ok, that’s gross too. But really, if you have any sort of body issues, it’s hard to be here. Especially if you have zero willpower around pastries when tired.

That said, the other thing to know is: eat when you can. Lunch is usually from 11-2 as far as I can tell, and dinner from  7-11. It’s hard to find a meal outside of those times; a few times we went looking for lunch at 3:30 and dinner post-11pm, and that didn’t work out at all.

draginsWine is actually cheaper than water, and on a hot day, rosé is perfect. I saw a couple of French women drinking it on ice, brilliant. Practice saying it, the r is in your throat and almost sounds like “rho-say.”

It can be difficult to find vegetarian food but most places will make you up a salad or a plate with veggies no problem.

5. No shoes will be comfortable.
Unless maybe you wear tennis shoes. But seriously, it’s Paris, you’re not going to wear tennis shoes. That would be gross. There’s a reason all the pharmacies have one million foot products right at the door as you walk in. Bring your favorite flats, get some “shopping and dancing” insoles, some silicone blister ampules, and you’re good to go. But be prepared for your feet to feel like bloody stumps.

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6. Les Soldes : The Sales
So this is pretty wacky – Paris only has sales in the shops twice a year. People go crazy. CRAZY. I guess maybe it’s like Filene’s Basement at bride-time or ummm, I don’t even know, NYC sample sales? It’s wild. In a way it was great, because I was able to buy a few things, but it definitely added to the total madness I felt was Paris. As far as I can tell, Paris is really, really expensive, so it might be worth it to actually try to go during the sales. I bought 2 pairs of shoes, a jumpsuit, a dress, 3 inexpensive tops, a pair of pants, and a belt, and still spent WAYYYYY too much, even with the sales. (Plus presents, eek.) Maybe number 6 should actually be: win the lottery before going to Paris.

hat7. Bring books
English books are pretty expensive, and I read 3 in my spare time. If you’re alone, it’s so so so nice to take a break from all the walking to sit in the shade and idly read and people watch at a cafe. It saved my sanity, for sure. But, I also spent too much buying new books, since I only brought one with me. I didn’t see any used English bookshops, except the rare book section of Shakespeare & Co.

8. Go to Paris while you still like cities and people.
30If you get too old and hermity and grumpens and all you want is quiet and leafy green woodland times, you might not like it so much. I probably would have LOVED it a decade ago in my mid twenties. June in Paris during the sales and a heat wave is like being in a crowded mall with a broken air conditioner. (There is almost no air conditioning in Paris, even in museums or department stores. None. SO HOT. The smartest thing we did was to stay in new hotels with AC.) A mall where everyone is smoking, and the toilets are broken. Not so romantic!

I am glad I didn’t come here for my honeymoon; I was convinced it’s EXACTLY what I wanted, but it’s really too big and busy and chaotic for us as a couple. Maybe someone can recommend better times? Obviously, I couldn’t have changed my visit as I was here for work, but it does seem strange that so many tourists go during such stinky & busy times. Part of me wishes I’d gone out and danced and drank and been crazy but then another part of me knows I just don’t do well around crowds anymore.

Curiously, the tweets from Harper’s magazine were all about Paris this morning, and they informed me that 650 people a year break bones in Paris from slipping in dog feces. Um, vile.

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9. Stay as long as possible.
By the time it was time to go, I was just starting to think in French and to relax enough to be really enjoying it. At some point, I must figure out a way (perhaps a short web-contract job? Any leads?) to stay for 3+ months in Paris, enough time to really be able to speak enough French to get around, to learn the secret places, and to be able to shop/cook on a budget without feeling sick from all the pastry! Once the shock/novelty wears off, it’s really very lovely. I’d love, if I ever have a child, to stay in Paris long enough for them to learn French.

ferro2

10. Go to Brussels
Only an hour away by train, Brussels really sparked that wondrous magic feeling I thought I’d feel in Paris, instantly. The architecture is like a patchwork, the parks are huge and stunning, there’s Art Nouveau everywhere, the pastry is amazing, etc etc. I wish we’d had more time here. Wanderlust!

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